Wednesday, March 31, 2021


I think a distinguishing factor that sets our modern age apart from all others before is a lack of purpose. An aimlessness. We aren't grounded to reality or natural law, instead we're airy and meandering, following whims and deriving pseudo-meaning from media-driven movements. And I believe it to be this lack of purpose that is responsible for many of the ills we face, both as individuals and societies.

This is why I like to examine purpose- what it is, how we should orient toward it, what our relationship with it ought to be, and how we can define and incorporate it into our lives. Yesterday, on a coastal afternoon walk, I tried to think more about it.

And here are the questions I came up with:

  • Should our purpose(s) be something that we naturally enjoy and are drawn to? Or should it be more of a sacrifice? Or both?
  • Should purpose be in service to some greater good, or overall betterment of society or the world at large? Or should it be more localized, even familial? (There's a fine argument to be made, of course, that the two aren't separate)
  • How can we hone in on our real and noble purpose(s) with most of us being so unaware of how influenced our minds are by mainstream narratives and popular culture? (I reiterate this a lot because, my goodness, 99.9% of us have had our brains completely rewritten by the narratives of the day that media feed us- so that, for example, when we see a violent riot right in front of our faces, we will actually redefine it as a peaceful protest after we've read some agenda-driven articles. Our own common sense and experiential knowledge would tell us otherwise, but we really do let media and the fear of social ostracism skew our thinking and the filter we view the world through, so I think this can't be looked over, because I see many people virtue signaling as they react to trends. Did you think to tear the statue down before media told you to? Or to ban Dr. Seuss? Did these ideas come to them originally in a genuine form and from sincere concern and desire for change? No, they are merely reacting to political trends, and letting media outlets, which are merely businesses, dictate their ideologies and reactions, and view of reality. If they don't respond in these ways, they risk isolation from their 'woke' peers, and the normalcy bias is strong in humans, 2020 has shown us that much. But... that was quite a digression. I just want to point out that we need to be very careful when determining what is really us and ours, versus the thoughts that are planted in us on a daily basis, by design, as part of a long-term agenda that has been in motion for centuries, but especially since the 1940's. And especially as it relates to choosing our life's purpose around these elitist control tactics).

For many women, raising a family is their purpose. I believe that would be a very rewarding experience, and if done well and with intention is one of the most noble tasks-- to raise mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy offspring.
While I do have a strong nurturing instinct, I'm less drawn to family life, lacking much of the Demeter archetype, and relating more to the Aphrodite archetype (discussed further in the video below). I gravitate toward research and study, nature, and divinity. My mind craves quiet and space where it can become clear and ride the current of creativity and ideas. 

I believe if life were longer, I would enjoy having children. Or if I would have had things sorted out much earlier in life. But, coming from a setting where I had to teach myself the important things in life, both from intentionally seeking but also from experience (often failures), I didn't make the choices or have the ideologies early on that would've laid the groundwork for a healthy family. 

I am still young enough to produce children, and will be for many more years still, so I ask myself often if this is something I should align to as one of my purposes in life. And the answer is still uncertain. Yet, my purposes of devotion to God and dedicating my life to deepening that relationship, to contributing in the realm of research and knowledge sharing on various topics, regeneration of soils and turning barren land into food-bearing landscapes, helping people heal using various modalities, and simply spreading inspiration, all of these feel very certainly like purposes of mine. Maybe I can also combine motherhood with them? I s'pose time will tell. For now, I feel clearly more drawn to something like researching the truth of where the Celts originated (and therefore helping give a people their identity or lied about history back to them), or growing enough food to provide for my local community, as examples, than I do about reproducing.

But I'll continue to think on purpose and to expand and clarify its meaning as I come to discover it myself. This is just an unedited flow of thought, so certainly not finalized yet in my mind.

Monday, March 29, 2021

Ferocious outside, cozy inside

Tonight a wind has blown in off the north Pacific with a vengeful force to it. In the two years we've been here, I've grown to love these winter winds that pummel the house some evenings, and it is almost always at nighttime these storms blow in, but tonight is a little different. Tonight the door over there is creaking like it really could blow open, busting the lock and chain. We've put a chair and a 7-gallon jug of water against it to help bolster our defenses. The little bit of lamplight I have going is flickering and we've filled a thermos of hot water just in case we lose power, there can still be tea. 

The wind isn't howling or whistling through the windows, it's stampeding right into them, like in Lord of the Rings when Arwen summons the flood brigade at the Ford of Bruinen. And I am sitting here enjoying my nightly cuppa cocoa, and reading, as ever. When really intense gales hit, I glance sideways over my right shoulder toward the window, as though avoiding direct eye contact will maintain fortification.

As terrible as it is, I do love it. I love the wild chaos outside, and the warm coziness inside. I love imagining the tumultuous sea just down the hill, and how it must be turbulently churning right now, while I sit here only a few hundred yards away, safe and snug by the fire. 

I already miss the unpredictable moodiness of the weather here, for the days soon coming when we'll have moved on. One day I'll have to write about these nights, and how they often transported me into some other [mari]time, when I was a lighthousekeeper in the 1700's on some cold and brutal remote northerly coastline, or weathering the storm down in the cabin of my old wooden boat in the 1850's, praying to God and sipping whiskey, with only one golden beeswax candle for a companion. 

I knew we were in for it tonight, as the weather all day was strange and unstable. In the span of a few hours, we saw hail, sleet, gray skies, new snow on the foothills across the bay, then golden sunshine and blue skies. The sea went from dark blue to Caribbean turquoise, calm to white-capping, and everything in between. 

Here are some of the pictures from just before sunset...

Saturday, March 27, 2021

Knitterly Things

This knitting hobby of mine is beginning to stack up. It seems I almost have a small knitwares shop on my hands, kept neatly tucked away in a brown paper bag in my crafts closet. Though it'd have to be a shop offering only hats, cowls, and ear warmers. 

I even designed a logo and had it printed onto suede tags to give things a more professional and finished look. 

Maybe when Autumn comes 'round again, I'll open a real shop.


Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Piloting the pair in harmony

 A new embroidery to add to the collection. This one contains some symbolism that I won't go into too much detail on, other than to say it was inspired by the Vedic-Celtic connection I've been learning about. 

A Celtic Druid rides a chariot with 8-spoked Dharmachakra wheels, pulled by a pair of winged horses, one mortal, the other immortal, which speaks something to the daily work of navigating this material impermanent human life, alongside the journey of the eternal soul that lives within, which is certainly the most important of all in my view- that devotion to and connection with God, requiring much more [especially inwardly] of us, than most modern people understand or are willing to give. The committed dedicate daily to piloting this team as harmoniously as possible; if one horse becomes weakened, the whole effort is in vain. And some of us, certainly myself, are seeking to understand these ancient ways our ancestors communed with the Divine [because I do feel they were closer to original truths than we are today.] 

When studying such things, and you come across interesting overlaps, it can feel like a magical secret has the tiniest brief beam of light shining on it, just for you to see. I've been fortunate to have such moments over the past several months, hence the inspiration for this Vedic-Celtic inspired stitching.

And here's a fitting photo I took a couple of years ago near Taos, New Mexico.